If like me, you have to manipulate huge text files containing thousands of lines of data and you hate trawling through them manually, slowly, one-by-one, line-by-line then boy do I have a few tricks to teach you.

These tricks of mass manipulation of text files will turn your week long, heart-wrenching job into a 5 minute heart-lifting pleasure bordering on the orgasmic [just trying to liven things-up].

I used to export and paste my text files into an Open Office spreadsheet then sort them before cutting and pasting. Doing so used to cut in half the time taken to edit my text files. I even pseudo-shuffled lines of data by typing letters of the alphabet beside each data line then sorting them into groups of like letters (e.g alla’s together, all b’s together…). They were the Dark Years (o.k Weeks but I’m allowed ) to tell my tale my way; and if I want to make people feel sorry for us lonely, depressed webmasters then I will. I’m glad those days are over.

I like to get things done as quickly as possible. I don’t like to dawdle. A trait that has put me out of really good jobs and embarrassed others at the same time: I’ve built spreadsheets and devised processes that convert week-long jobs into 2 hour, Monday morning tasks; who needs an extra employee once he’s killed his job position :-? But that didn’t bother me. Progress and evolution, onwards and upwards; they are mymottos.